Hey, You, Get Into My Cloud

This is the future. Or at least a badly photoshopped metaphor for the future.
Image: Lore Sj?berg

Last week I talked about my sojourn into the World of Warcraft, my departure therefrom, and the debilitating nausea that now overcomes me when I see a Tauren druid hopping its way across Thunder Bluff. You might think I have nothing to show for my endless hours of questing, grinding, raiding and not bathing. To the contrary, I got something priceless out of the game: nothing.

If you haven?t played World of Warcraft, you might not know that it?s essentially Project Runway set in Valhalla. Everyone goes out to kill horrible creatures in order to obtain magical fancy outfits. Some would argue that the point of the clothing is to make you better at killing creatures, but I think it?s more honest to say that the point of killing the creatures is to get better clothing.

At any rate, by the end of my Warcraft days I had many magical fancy outfits, and many gems to put on my magical fancy outfits, and many bags to hold my magical fancy outfits. I was thrilled when the gamemakers introduced the ability to switch magical fancy outfits instantly. And then I quit, and I had nothing. (Well, to be fair, I had lower back problems and an office full of empty 2-liter soda bottles, but you can get those anywhere.)

Here?s the thing. I was OK with having nothing, even though I had once treasured my fictional hats more than any earthly headgear. I knew that Blizzard Entertainment, the maker of World of Warcraft, would keep my data on file after I let my subscription lapse, leaving the door open for me to return like Elijah at a Passover Seder.

It?s possible that one day, after I am dust and my works are lost to indifference and negligence, a 3204th-century data scientist will find one of Blizzard?s backups, re-create the world of Azeroth, and wear my fancy outfits once again.

In short, World of Warcraft taught me to blur the distinction between physical possessions and virtual possessions. And now, I?m finally putting that blur to good use.

Recently I was in the garage, trying to arrange my old belongings to make room for the new belongings I bought to replace them. I looked at a box full of old videogames, and I suddenly realized: I don?t need to possess things to own them. I pulled up a barcode scanner on my phone and scanned a game into the database. A little image of the box art showed up on the screen. Details like the developer and year of release automatically filled themselves in. I had captured the game as if I were some poorly animated urchin with a Pok? Ball.

The game was Ninjabread Man for the Wii, so arguably it was more entertaining as a line in a database than an actual game, but nonetheless a whole new world had opened up for me.

Most of my old games are now eBay-bound ? eBound, if you will ? as are most of my old books. I don?t think of it as getting rid of them. I still have them, right on my phone.

I?ve begun thinking of eBay as cloud storage for things with measurable volume.

And if I want them in physical form? Well, I?ve stopped thinking of eBay as an auction site. Now I think of it more as cloud storage for things with measurable volume. I?m putting my possessions into the cloud, and if I want them again I can retrieve them from the cloud for a small fee.

Sure, they won?t be the exact original items I once owned, but that doesn?t bother me any more than it bothers me that the 1s and 0s I retrieve from Evernote aren?t the same electrons I originally stored.

This feeling ? of having something without having to have it ? is addictive. I?ve been looking around my house and sizing up other things I can send into the eBay cloud: electronics, kitchen appliances, house pets ?

I have a vision of a world where you ?upload? and ?download? physical items. For less than the price of renting a storage space, you subscribe to a ?physical cloud? in your area. You send them everything you don?t use every day, and when you need an ice-cream maker or a folding card table or an XXL-size sexy robot outfit, it?s pulled from the cloud and delivered to your door within 24 hours.

Is it the same one? Who cares ? it?s clean and well-maintained and it?s yours until you send it back.

It?s a great idea. It could make a ton of money. I?d start it as a business but I already have, in my head, and that?s all I need.

- ? -

Born helpless, nude and unable to provide for himself, Lore Sj?berg eventually overcame these handicaps to become a hoarder, a hordie and a hornbill.

Source: http://feeds.wired.com/~r/wired/index/~3/vM81qCsHjJQ/

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